The Jargon Translator
Every big agency has a secret language. Here's our field guide to what they say, what they mean, and why we'd rather just talk to you like a human.
Filed under "things that add a zero to the invoice." Search it, laugh at it, then never let anyone say "synergy" to you again.
The magic that happens when teams combine to create more than the sum of their parts.
We put two of your departments in a meeting and took credit for the result.
We'll revisit this at a more appropriate time.
I have no intention of thinking about this ever again.
A thorough, rigorous analysis of the problem.
A 40-slide deck that repeats what you told us in the kickoff call.
Quick wins with high impact and minimal effort.
The one obvious thing you could have done yourself, for free.
Deliver a measurable, meaningful change to the business.
Change a number by an amount we would rather not specify.
Scrappy, data-driven, unconventional marketing.
Marketing — but we charge more and say the word 'hacking'.
Emotionally connecting your brand with your audience.
Three paragraphs about a sunrise before we mention what you sell.
Considering your entire ecosystem, not just one channel.
We are going to bill you for absolutely everything.
Establishing your brand as an authority in the space.
LinkedIn posts nobody asked for.
An honest assessment of our available capacity.
Is the intern free on Thursday?
Generate innovative, boundary-pushing ideas.
Think. It just means think.
The industry-proven, optimal way of doing things.
What everyone else does, so nobody can get blamed.
A bold, strategic change of direction.
The first plan flopped and we have already spent the budget.
A seamless, unified experience across every touchpoint.
We will post the exact same thing on five platforms.
Innovative enough to reshape an entire market.
Perfectly normal, but with a much bigger valuation.
Data you can genuinely make decisions from.
A chart. It is honestly just a chart.
Every capability you could need, all under one roof.
We quietly outsource the bits we said we do in-house.
A quick, useful check-in to stay aligned.
A 30-minute call that could have been a two-line email.
Something that grows effortlessly with your business.
We have not tested it past about ten users.
A uniquely talented specialist in their field.
One person quietly doing three jobs for one salary.
Let's discuss the detail separately after the meeting.
Please stop asking that in front of the client.
Let's explore that point in more depth.
I said one sentence and now I'll say it again, slower.
The single measure that matters most to the business.
The one number that happens to be going up right now.
Apply the valuable lessons from previous work.
Use the stuff we found out. 'Use.' The word is 'use.'
A planned, prioritised part of our future delivery.
We wrote it down once and will never speak of it again.
An extra benefit beyond the core deliverable.
The thing that should obviously have been included.
No account managers, no markup, no "let's take this offline." Just a senior team that tells you what things cost and what they'll actually do.